I think when one becomes too attached to someone they rely a lot on them. So, for me, the first step to this dis-attachment goal is to become less reliant on my attachment.
My second plan of action, and this is a lot harder than my first plan (but goes along with previous blogs), is a bit more complicated. For me, when I get attached to a person, I highly respect them, and I expect a lot out of them. I need to stop doing this. I will still highly respect them, but I will not hold such high expectations for them. I myself should not be holding anyone to such expectations, as an expectation is a judgement wrapped up in pretty paper.
Third, perhaps most important. In order to be less attached, I need to be better at trusting people. I think I sometimes deceive myself into thinking I am "too attached", and 9 times out of 10 I am, but there are those times where it is definitely a trust issue. This causes a sort of attachment issue. Trust is normally formed when people's expectations and needs are met in a situation, so if I am able to dissolve expectations in a relationship will trusting come more easily, because, hypothetically, anything that happens (positive) will be meeting my expectations? Hmmm. Either way, I need to be trusting. Trust. Is. Peace.
Fourth deals with investment. Investment of my heart, soul, spirit, and life. If I am to become less attached I need to become less invested. By this, I mean that I will not share as much of myself as I did, but slowly allow people in...when I think it is okay for them to be there. Letting people know a lot about me automatically means I will be more attached to them, therefore I need to close myself off in many ways.
Fifth, I need to love myself. I have realized, and I have may have stated this in previous blogs but I'll say it again since it is definitely worth repeating. I have tried to validate myself through other people. This can't be done. Doing this leads to unhealthy levels of attachment! I have realized that I need to validate my own existence through myself. No one else can validate me, except for me! Self validation, high self esteem, and loving myself are all very important and they make up five, six, and seven.
This will take time, work, patience, and lots of blogging, but in the end I know I will be able to do it. I can come out being passionate about the ideas I want to be passionate about, loving who I want to love, and best of all not being unhealthily attached to either.
GO ME. :)
Photo Credits:
http://blendedwardrobe.blogspot.com/2011_05_22_archive.html
http://www.paradisechamber.com/gift_certificates.html
https://catmacros.wordpress.com/2010/02/14/why-wont-you-validate-me/
